The Muffin Joke

My name is Trevor
I have a joke series that I tell.

So there's these two muffins in an oven, right.

These nine words were the source of laughter, groaning and all around good vibes. When I worked for Games Workshop, I came in contact with a lot of people. It was, after all, a customer service role. The difference with a shop like the one that I ran and your run of the mill shops was that we had a lot of people spending plenty of time in store. Something that I enjoyed was entertaining people.

One of my personal favourite tools to use was the muffin joke. This was a very simple joke.

So there's these two muffins in an oven, right. One muffin turned to the other muffin and said "Gee, it's hot in here." The other muffin turns back and says "Oh my gosh, a talking muffin."

Hilarious, right. On its own, I understand that this is a very 'dad' style joke. When it begins to become amusing is the countless repetitions that this joke can have. A couple of simple examples:

Two sausages in a frying pan.
Two mackerel in a fridge (they're cold, obviously)
Two eggs in a pan
Two chicken nuggets in a deep fryer.

As long as you can think of them, the joke is true.

I often followed the string of jokes with a slightly off kilter version:

So there’s these two cows in a field, right. One cow turns to the other cow and says “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?” The other cow turns back and says “Yeah, makes you glad we’re penguins.”

This last one often got genuine laughter.

I ended up telling this joke a lot. At one stage, I was telling it at least twice a day, sometimes more. It got to the point where it was a local legend in the Games Workshop community. The kids would talk to each other at school and sure enough, on a Thursday night at games night, there would be a person who would come in and say “I’ve been told to ask about the muffin joke.”

At this point, there would be a collective groan from the room with people telling the universe “NO.” It had to be the universe that they were telling because they knew that I certainly wasn’t going to listen to them. My face would slowly spread into a mischievous grin and I would then launch into the series of jokes.

Why did I do this?

It’s very simple. It made people happy. There were very few who did not (on some level at least) enjoy me telling these terrible jokes. Even those who groaned and complained couldn’t help but smile while they were doing this. Whether it was because they knew what the new person was in store for, or whether they liked the camaraderie that it generated, or whether they just like to see me get excited over a mundane and repeated set of words; they loved it. It was my simple way of bringing joy and humour to those who sometimes were taking their time and their hobby far too seriously.

This joke was so over told, that it had a rhythm and life of its own. The emphasis, pitch and timing was always the same to the point that my regulars knew it so well, that they knew when it was their turn to groan.

I surprised even myself by how much I enjoyed telling it. I enjoyed it for all of the reasons that I have mentioned so far and more.

In March of 2011, I had to close the Games Workshop hobby centre in Carindale forever. This was not an easy task. At our closing down party, we had heaps of people come into the store. We had lots of fun. There was cake. When we were cutting the cake in front of everyone, my staff member (and friend) and I had an opportunity to say a few words. There was the usual thanks and pleasantries and I am forever grateful to that man who faced the trials and tribulations of closing the shop down with me.

After all of the speeches were down and we had cut the cake, there was a voice from the back. Tell us a joke. Without skipping a beat, I said “So there’s these two muffins in an oven right.” The room laughed. I left the joke there and laughed along with everyone. It was the best way to finish the speeches. It tied us all together. There was not a single person in that room who had not heard that joke at least half a dozen times. We handed out the cake and the day ended. When we closed the store forever a few days later, the joke remained unfinished. I like to think that it’s still alive and thought of fondly in people’s memories. Believe me, I know how corny that sounds.

I do still tell the muffin joke sometimes. It’s still my go to joke for new crowds of people. But it’s never been with the same ferocity than when I worked at Carindale. It would be a disservice to the people that it touched there. In fact, there have been times when a friendly face has seen me in passing and asked me to tell the muffin joke. I’ve always obliged. We’ve both been left smiling.

My name is Trevor.
I tell the muffin joke.
It united a large group of people.
Ask me if you want to hear it.